Novel Review: Lost Voices

Lost Voices by Sarah Porter- I am glad I read it but I thought it would have turned out much different. I was left feeling… empty, as if part of the plot was missing. I actually had to reread multiple sections to see if I missed something. First off, I was not happy to see military (Coasty) ships attacked, being a mil spouse, but they can’t all be cruise liners.

The general idea is that girls, and only girls, who are abused, in number of various ways and degrees, turn into liquid in order to reach the sea ultimately turning into mermaids. These mermaids are sirens luring ships to destruction effectively killing the evil adults who if they had not, would perpetrate horrors the girls lived through. There was a good twist with snobbish, fashion-needy girls changing the culture of the otherwise primitive, easy going group.

On a much deeper level, the angst between the “queen” and our heroine was excellently built: the truth hidden, needing to be exposed, to suffer due to survivor’s guilt from doing “the right thing” which ultimately turned out horrible, and therefore be liberated from the guilt when fully usurped. Ultimately, it is the story of humanity, holding on to it despite continual, sometimes horrible odds and how each girl interprets the opportunities and peer pressure. So, perhaps, being an adult, the peer pressure and need to strike out on one’s own, by her own rules, went right over my head.  What I did not miss was how the girls who survived the human monsters and abuse had become so embittered that they became monsters themselves, murdering similarly innocent people but they made sure there was no salvation, no second chance for sailors in order to keep the mermaids existence hidden.

Except for one, a boy. I did catch all the questions, the undercurrents of why boys, even abused, could not become mermaids. I however missed the explanation. Perhaps it is pre-pubescence innocence. Much easier to study humanity when it is not mucked up by relationships.  I would have liked to have this during those awkward, questioning years to help debate which peer groups I should stay with, which path I should take, and that it is ok to go off on my own, all alone.

Athena’s birth: to the ER, Stat!

It all started about 9 pm last night. The tension was building in the back of my skull, like a ring from ear to ear along my hairline. As time went on it continued to move along my head and then bang around to different spots on my skull.

Now, I have had these before. But this was something altogether unreal. I took an RX I have for it. Nothing, so, as per directions, I took the second dose two hours later. It was getting worse with each passing moment. This thing was too much for my heavy duty rx.

Athena. That is it! This is what Zeus felt when she was brandishing her weapons, fully clothed in Battle Armour ready to burst forth from his split skull. Minerva, how could you? Hephaestus, where are you when I need you?!

11pm. The tears start to well. I am really sick of this. I break down when I can hear my mother’s voice like a bubble above my head advising me to drink some chamomile tea. I make it, a mixed brew for night time. It is soothing. So now I am fully exhausted, welcoming sleep and the pain is intensifying.

Back and forth from the bed to the couch, I change clothes a million times and adjust the air conditioning to see if warmer or colder would be better. Lights on, lights off. Music on, music off.
Insomnia. I start to clean the room I had earlier torn apart. If I am going to up with insomnia and I am going to make it do my bidding.

The nausea comes on. I hear my friends voice saying she was just praying to die with the horrible case of the belly big she had just gotten over. Maybe that is what I have? Nope, migraine. I have no lower “belly” issues but the overwhelming need to vomit the void in my empty stomach.
I send off a brief email to work explaining about the migraine making me ill and I might not be into work as I haven’t slept all night.

Tears and whimpering come on around 2am and last for two hours. It’s so bad I can’t see anymore and want to pass out. I have been debating going to the Base ER for a few hours now, but what could they do? Like a cold, oh its a headache, nothing here, go back home and suffer…?

Well, finally about 4am I can no longer take it and I just need someone to be around me. I was trying to hold out until the offices might open for the reg dr on base. MIGHT being the operative word. I was supposed to get a call from someone on Monday, so maybe, just maybe… It was just too much for me. Luckily, no one is waiting and it seems really, really quiet. I get in and am so exhausted and in pain I realize I have no idea how I got there. Obviously I drove myself, ID shown at the gate and parked. But I was so preoccupied with the pain none of it had registered in my short term memory.
The situation explained, my bp is way up to 150, not the usual 120. Not surprised. The Dr comes in eventually and I explain it all, show him the rx I took. Yup, I brought it, and I even highlighted the important areas on the info sheet folded inside. -Yes, I do read them! You should to! I explained how I was afraid bc another of my Rxs listed on there can negatively affect and be affected. ER DR had never even heard of my drug, “must be pretty potent stuff if I haven’t heard of it here…”

“Well it’s crap” was my retort, more to myself than to him, as tossed it into my bag. Dr explains that although my dr said not to take anything else with it, I could have in fact taken more pain killers. Great. But he finished with not all drugs work for everyone or on all receptors. This I already knew.
Since I had to drive myself the available options were limited to two. As it was presented to me, the ones which would have worked best would require a driver for me. Yay, deployments! I wanted to scream I AM ALONE! HE IS DEPLOYED AND THERE IS NO ONE TO DRIVE ME AT THIS HOUR OR I WOULD NOT HAVE DRIVEN MYSELF IF IT WAS THIS BAD! The options include a pill which may or may not work based on the effectiveness of my Rx for this particular migraine, or a shot in the bum of a regular painkiller. His suggestion was the shot bc it was more guaranteed. I took it.

The pain! The needle stick was rather squintee as it was a thicker gauged needle,I felt my face pucker. But it was not the worst needle I have had to endure. Then the contents spreads out. A long list of profanities I did not realize I was capable of came out of my mouth. The Pain! Pain for Pain! The irony! I stood there poised over the bed for a bit and then suddenly it was all gone, except for the pain in my head. That was still as prevalent as ever. The relief of the liquid being absorbed into my muscle was amazing.

15 to 20 mins and it should start working. So I called my parents house on the drive home. I know they will pick up. Or I will keep calling until they do. The beauty of house phones. 530 am. 630 am there. Dad was up. He was up two hours ago when I was pulling into and out of my parking spot debating if a trip over to the ER was worth it or just a stupid waste of more painful time. Oh well.
So he talked to me over the course of the drive home. He mentioned I could have called a cab. That had never occurred to me. Even though I see a cab every day, living a few places down from me. But I would have had to call it, drop me off, pick me up. With the pain I was in, I hadn’t even thought of that and may not have even been capable of those instructions.

I was able to go to sleep a while after I got home. My glorious, long awaited respite was interrupted twice. My work cell called and I groggily got up to answer it. It wasn’t the ringer of the phone in the mountain sandbox, but it might just be. I missed it and didn’t recognize the number. No message. Blissfully passed out again the number calls, again. This time I answer it to find a very courteous man explaining he dialed the wrong area code. Same number. I was in such need of sleep that I was able to shut out any further noise once my head hit the pillow and my arms curled around my over sized bear under the covers.

I woke around 9 am and made an apt to get something that works. No more ER trips for me! Forget that! At least I did not have to pay for any of it. I can’t wait for you to be home! When does this ever happen? When you are not around… figures.

June 8, 2010 at 6:06 am

Cozy Couch Movie Reviews: Julie and Julia

I was completely unimpressed with this movie but that isn’t to say I didn’t think it was good. The visuals were spectacular! The acting, wonderful. Having grown up with Julia on TV, her cookbook spattered, pages folded, having I cut my baby teeth on her recipes, and “Julia” being tossed around by my mother – who is worthy of Julia- as though an old friend, I enjoyed her life story. I also enjoyed the story of Julie, who needed to *feel* she accomplished something in her life, and sought to find it through love. The love of her friends, her mother, and her marriage tested and renewed with her husband, all waxed and waned through the trials of life and the kitchen. She wasn’t searching to be loved, or for any of those people. But they were all brought closer to her through her endeavor. When is family is not brought closer by delicious food? What started as a stress relief became a feeling of accomplishment.

Her meals brought them all together. It was successful, and although it ends on a devastating note for Julie, it was nice to see the culmination of the cooking book, a positive sendoff for Julia.
I did not feel as though I wasted an hour or so of my life, but I did not enjoy J&J as much as I thought I would. I just did not feel for the characters. I even watched the directors commentary (not unusual for me). I learned of the detail undertaken to make the food look as it would in real life, and to make the colors pop. I was very much impressed with the fact that all of the actors actually had to eat the gourmet-prepared food in all takes, not just fake nibble, so that the audience would understand just how good it really tasted, or how gross we might think something is according to today’s standards.

Perhaps I built it up in my head too much. Perhaps the book was so much better, as is often the case. My parting thought was, I feel empty. Void of either like or dislike. I don’t know if I would buy it if it was on sale. Maybe, probably. But Julie’s flip outs and tantrums would make me feel better when I burn something or drop it on the floor trying to get the hot pan to the table.

I suggest it as a watch. It wasn’t “wholesome” and gushy, per se, but a nice couple’s date night movie or girls-night-in flick. It is about 20 and 40-something women trying to find a place in life where they just don’t seem to fit but are not necessarily the depressing, total odd ball out.

As I pulled the dvd out of the player I was motivated to cook! Surprisingly, I was not hungry. But maybe I was. Hungry for a new challenge, a new taste. Just something new. And that is why I recommend this for at least one viewing. Well done, excellent color and you really do get a sense for what life was like for each couple.

Novel Review: Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

A Novel Review by Christina M. Callisto
May 31, 2010
Let me start out by saying I have been reading children’s literature since I was a freshman in college as a welcome reprieve from the torturous, exhausting life of adulthood. It was a wonderful tradition I lovingly hold on to. The children’s books of today are not what they were when I was that age!

After reading the first few pages, nay, the first long paragraph, I realized why I love kids’ lit… it’s happy. Not all of it. Actually, most is not. Take Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events book series. Living is hard enough; try switching into a new anything, and dealing with your associated adults’ lives and the negative it brings into the mix. Makes for good “angst.” It’s a good word for teenagers, but it crops up much earlier than that.

Which is quite apparent in this book. But with every, OMG I just can’t take how depressing this is, it’s turning my mood sour and making me truly miserable, thought I realize I cannot stop reading it! Honestly, had I researched the farm crisis of the 1980s, or ease and use of drugs by teens in the 80s, or the general development of abandoned children, I might have understood this book a bit more and not taken the plight of the characters so personal.

Every other chapter is told by a different person, a family member or supporting character, and each offers a bit of the story line, detective style, moving the plot along while drawing it further back so there is always the need to continue searching. The need of the reader, not the characters. I am continually impressed that although I would rather refuse this book and drop it back at the library (yay, free book use!) because it deals with a gruesome murder that is revisited the entire time, dissected, turned over, debated, I cannot stop turning the pages. The characters are refreshing, depressing, but you feel for them. And who hasn’t thought in sarcastic italics before? Out it comes in subtle hilarity from our damaged characters.

I went from page 50 to 219 over the course of a day; the amazing transformation of each character over a back-and-forth period of a few decades had me reading outside in the sun, through dinner, and turning the TV off. The fact that Flynn gives characters their own chapter really lets the humanity show through in bold, blazing emotions of each age during the blasé life events most authors forget or can’t seem to grasp.

I finished the novel having staying up late into the night and was thoroughly satisfied. It wasn’t a bubble gum ending but there was closure in many ways. At least, in the way that humans can find, justify, or believe closure. The plot line has scattered shreds of intertwined lives that continue to strengthen and unravel. The interesting thing is to see where the blame goes and how people find or lose strength.

I definitely recommend a trip to the local library for this book. It is not one I would read again, personally. But it was an easy read, easy to understand, no sucker punches. You learn as the main character learns. And I loved the twist and closure at the end. I am glad my friend recommended Dark Places by Gillian Flynn.
http://gillian-flynn.com/