Deployed During The Holidays

(picture published on article page of Blog Bridge)

Deployed During The Holidays

My publishing credit: credited as “Guest Blogger” “Christina”

Published by Blog Brigade of Military OneSource on December 22, 2012, in Holidays,  Military Life by Guest Blog.

http://blog-brigade.militaryonesource.mil/2012/12/22/deployed-during-the-holidays/

Blogger Biography: Christina is a proud war bride, military “dependent,” writer and volunteer. She met her husband while working two jobs to pay her student loans and stay afloat. He stuck with her despite the long and crazy hours away from each other and so began her experience with the military. Scrapping the wedding for a long and dangerous deployment, she fully embraced being a military spouse. Christina reaches out to all available networks to learn and take advantage of what the military has to offer its family. Learning the ropes is tough, but she knows she has help.

He always seems to be gone at the holidays. Even when he was here, travel killed at least two days, and then the recovery and cleaning or laundry took another two. So we ended up staying home more often than not. Let me describe to you what our past holiday seasons have looked like and what I do when he’s gone.

As a joke, my mother bought me a table top silver tree for which I have found tiny ornaments. That goes on an outdoor “bar style” table we keep inside. I cover the base with ancient towels from my grandmother. The holiday scene depicted is a bit more horror than jolly, but it helps us to remember that traditions and meanings change through times and experience. If we do exchange presents, they are piled near the tree on the table, on the bar stools and on the floor beneath. If he is gone, I get the care package together and take a picture of the open box with the tree. Every year we debate getting a life size tree, but now this tiny one and its joke are part of our tradition. Not to mention it’s easier for me to set up and decorate alone.

Presents are usually opened after dinner while we relax, if we are home and together, that is. If he isn’t home, he and I don’t exchange gifts. But I always buy him something little, usually silly, and wrap it. One year he was able to send me a card.

I like holiday music. He can’t stand hearing the same song sung the same way repeated over and over again. Matter of fact, when he is gone, he likes that he can’t hear one song playing every moment of the day. So our compromise is a wide and varied selection of holiday music from traditional to gospel, to chant to punk, to country to selections from all over the world. The music can be on when I am signing my cards that will go overseas to our troops, to the hospitals nursing our wounded, and to our family and friends. When he is not here and we have no family close enough, it’s on 24/7 to drown out the loneliness.

When we met I had never seen the National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It just was not my type of humor, but he loves it. He will call and I can tell him where I am in the movie and he can quote the next few lines. When he is gone, watching it is a way for me to connect across the hundreds of miles between us.

He grew up with ham and turkey. I grew up with turkey or steak. So if he is home we decide on the meat. If it’s turkey, the newest tradition is to deep fry it outside, regardless of how cold it is. Sides include pierogies, kapusta, collard greens, sweet potatoes with brown sugar, deviled eggs, squash with butter and salad. Breakfast varies; we usually splurge on cinnamon rolls and get a start on the deviled eggs. When he’s away, I still do the cinnamon rolls.

And we always have matzo ball soup. I picked that up from having Passover Seder with a friend’s family back in high school. It was delicious and fun to make. When we are together for the holidays, I always have a head cold, never fails. So the chicken soup is a help, but far more importantly, my husband is the one stuck making it. Unsurprisingly, it always turns out far more delicious when his practiced hands are in control. Mine just does not stack up anymore. The fact that cooking this has moved from me to him is one of our favorite traditions. He won’t even let me touch it.

One year it was just pasta with tomato sauce. That is all I had that wasn’t frozen. I will always remember it because we were together that year and it wasn’t planned. That was an amazing gift. If he’s gone for the holidays, he will inevitably not make it home for New Year’s Day either. I will go to every holiday event they have on base when he is not here. Actually, it doesn’t have to be around the holiday; I still do it. No point in being alone when you are lonely. When we don’t live near enough to family, I snuggle up on the couch to watch TV and wait for him to finish his shift and sit in line to try to call home.

It’s not the tree or the food, per se, that makes us look forward to the holidays. Whether we are together or apart, for us it’s the “remember when.” Most of our traditions started by accident, cobbled together based on time, distance, budget and circumstance. We came from very different backgrounds and have lived in a wide range of states. The important thing is that we made the holiday our own. So when he is able to call home, after the news that the care package still hasn’t made it there, when we have exhausted everything new that happened since our last communication, one of us will say “remember when,” and we celebrate the holiday together, bridging the distance and the time between us.

A *living* victim of road rage!

Well I was threatened today: I better be glad she didn’t have her heat on her or I would be dead right now.

Apparently this woman did not like that I pulled out onto my street about 6 houses and 1 street width, not including the one I was turning off of, away from her and prohibited her from continuing her crazy breakneck speed. The entire road is posted for 25mph about every 4 houses. I have lived here for three years, I know where each ones is. We have an elementary school and a church on my road two houses down from my place where the speed limit slows to 20 mph.

I made sure she was far enough away when I pulled out, put my blinker onto turn right and immediately pulled into the paved area to turn into my place. I heard her horn from house 6. And her breaks locking at house 2 and the rubber on the road at house 1 when I was already in my right merge. I knew if there was an impact it would be on my left side, a scraping crush. How did she get from house 6 to 1 – she clearly saw me if her horn was blaring (unless she was paying attention to something else?) – having to slam on the breaks if she was going 25 miles an hour? Even at 35 there was plenty of time! I went one car lengths distance. It’s a slight Z where the road doesn’t go straight into my parking lot- but almost!

No impact.

Instead of being a good mom, she tails me until I park, pulls up and starts screaming at me and slamming her hand against the seat saying something about she has a kid in the car. I can see its head moving around, I believe it is a boy about 4 years old, probably younger. All I said, calmly, was “25 miles per hour. “ “F- that! F-ing 25 miles an hour! … kid…. f-….” When there was a lull I calmly repeated “25 miles per hour.” Not surprising, she was enraged all the more each time I said that. The passenger seat was being hit so hard it was bouncing back into her arm, something I have only seen in vehicle crash tests.

I then see her reaching around for something, white papers flapping into the air. I am about to reach for my cell phone to call 911 when she says ” You better be glad I don’t have my heat on me or you’d be dead!” and flies out of the parking lot. I mean bat out of hell speed!

My next thought was If I was shot in my car, my milk, the only reason I went out, would spoil before someone would have found me. My husband is deployed, the neighbors were out on this beautiful early afternoon Sunday. In retrospect I am surprised I remained so calm. I got the groceries out of the car, which took two trips, and locked the front door when it was all in. I had to call someone so I phoned L and explained it to her. Then I freaked out! It all came out. She says, ” It’s time to move! Get out of that area! You were so right, they do need speed bumps! But we all have road rage stories like that. I don’t know if I told you when…”

After I talked about it I was fine again. I left the house for my Apheresis platelet donation at the NWFL Bloodcenter where I was told my blood pressure was great. I had, of course, told them the story. They could apparently see on my face something was amiss.

Now I am home, all alone, and worried. Have you ever been threatened like that before? I could have jumped from my car to my window. That is how close I was to my place. She saw where I can be assumed to live. I would have kept going, but what if she was actually going into the next lot and I would have been exacerbating the situation by continuing on?

Interestingly enough, she never called me any names. None! I can think of a string of words that could have been used. But none were. This leads me to believe that she wasn’t actually angry at me, myself, perhaps, but at her situation which would have been causing her to feel the need to drive at such excessive speeds in a residential area. Perhaps she was a worried mom scared that her terrible actions could have caused her the life of her child at such an impact. I can only hope. I am truly far more worried that child is living with an addict. Exactly what would cause someone to be that aggressive. Aggressive speeding and driving. Slamming the seat so hard it actually was bouncing back. I would never have screamed like that or been so violent with a child in the car or anywhere near the area.

I am only assuming she was the parent. “Kid” was the word repeated, not son or daughter or even child.

However, I am alive. I am safe. And I am going to forget the nice townhouse I just saw for rent a block away from here. As my husband, God love him, said, “We need to get away from the Walmart. It is just too close. We have seen this neighborhood decline and its just time to go.” I really hate to admit that it is true. This was such a nice area. I also really do not want to associate this kind of behavior with a company or location. I have shopped there, many decent people do. But the community built closest to it is gated.

Boy, it’s times like this I wish he was home. Like this? I have never been threatened before! I hope this never happens to you. Or to me ever again. I need some cookies and milk!

June 7, 2010 at 10:46 am

5 dollar pitcher Movie Reviews: Hot Tub Time Machine

5 dollar pitcher Movie Reviews: Hot Tub Time Machine

This movie is utterly ridiculous from the get go. Some almost-40s guys (John Cusack, etc. ) decide to party it up one more time for old time’s sake in what was an awesome place in their 80′s high school days after one of them almost in inadvertently but mostly on purpose fails at committing suicide after drunkenly rocking out in a car in a closed garage. The town in run down, the place is a mess. Everything that could be ruined is.
So they get trashed in the hot tub, which was disgusting when they got there… It transports them back to “the year” and the butterfly effect takes place. The real difference is how they choose to act on what is happening. It’s a should we do what we want or what we know we should? And when is enough enough?
Apparently life gets in the way and they all suck at being friends; its just a matter of how the others take it. Lucky for them all, going back in time sets up an even better life for them to return to at almost 40′s.
All are happy and the random nephew finds his daddy. The end.
I say cult classic. Definitely has funny moments but a totally random premise. I laughed out loud throught it. The one liners are great.
The best part was when I was walking out with L and the guy behind me says at normal volume, “wow that’s a really flowery dress. “
I actually reply (what?!)…”Yes it is. Thank you” while continuing to walk down the steps and overhear him saying he likes it to one of his buddies (what?!). L says something about him being a Motley Crue fan (movie reference, what?) and that I am walking taller. I was thinking about how my husband would like this dress and I was not going to tell her that I am in heels, so yes I am taller than her at the moment. Although she is rockin the Zumba sneaks and is smokin hot in the workout outfit!
It’s 5 dollar pitcher girls night, after all. A wicked end to a funny, ridiculous movie. The random slings from the jerk character are just funny. They make it. It’s a good movie to watch if you are ever thinking “what ifs” … you will realize it would have happened some way or another… whether you did it or someone else did. Better to just let it be and move on.

Cozy Couch Movie Reviews: Julie and Julia

I was completely unimpressed with this movie but that isn’t to say I didn’t think it was good. The visuals were spectacular! The acting, wonderful. Having grown up with Julia on TV, her cookbook spattered, pages folded, having I cut my baby teeth on her recipes, and “Julia” being tossed around by my mother – who is worthy of Julia- as though an old friend, I enjoyed her life story. I also enjoyed the story of Julie, who needed to *feel* she accomplished something in her life, and sought to find it through love. The love of her friends, her mother, and her marriage tested and renewed with her husband, all waxed and waned through the trials of life and the kitchen. She wasn’t searching to be loved, or for any of those people. But they were all brought closer to her through her endeavor. When is family is not brought closer by delicious food? What started as a stress relief became a feeling of accomplishment.

Her meals brought them all together. It was successful, and although it ends on a devastating note for Julie, it was nice to see the culmination of the cooking book, a positive sendoff for Julia.
I did not feel as though I wasted an hour or so of my life, but I did not enjoy J&J as much as I thought I would. I just did not feel for the characters. I even watched the directors commentary (not unusual for me). I learned of the detail undertaken to make the food look as it would in real life, and to make the colors pop. I was very much impressed with the fact that all of the actors actually had to eat the gourmet-prepared food in all takes, not just fake nibble, so that the audience would understand just how good it really tasted, or how gross we might think something is according to today’s standards.

Perhaps I built it up in my head too much. Perhaps the book was so much better, as is often the case. My parting thought was, I feel empty. Void of either like or dislike. I don’t know if I would buy it if it was on sale. Maybe, probably. But Julie’s flip outs and tantrums would make me feel better when I burn something or drop it on the floor trying to get the hot pan to the table.

I suggest it as a watch. It wasn’t “wholesome” and gushy, per se, but a nice couple’s date night movie or girls-night-in flick. It is about 20 and 40-something women trying to find a place in life where they just don’t seem to fit but are not necessarily the depressing, total odd ball out.

As I pulled the dvd out of the player I was motivated to cook! Surprisingly, I was not hungry. But maybe I was. Hungry for a new challenge, a new taste. Just something new. And that is why I recommend this for at least one viewing. Well done, excellent color and you really do get a sense for what life was like for each couple.

5 dollar pitcher Movie Reviews: Clash of the Titans

I thought it was a good remake. As remakes go, it was nothing like the original. Medusa was in there, but how can you save the princess Andromeda without the head of Medusa? I give “mad props” to the writers for explaining her story. For those of you who are unfamiliar, there are actually two stories that involve Medusa. The archaic version describes her as one of three monster sisters, Gorgons, related to maritime lifestyle through their parents, stronger deities. Originally deities in their own right, these girls were demonized as time when on to control female power as the males of the Greek society continued to assert themselves.

I will remind you, should you think this is some sort of feminist drivel, evidence that Greek fortune and kingdoms passed through the female line is found in the Odyssey. Odysseus was fighting to get home and ended up slaying all of his wife’s suitors. Theses suitors did not come from all over because they wanted some middle aged woman for a bedfellow. It was because the kingdom was ruled by whomever her husband was, which is how Odysseus became king. By that time the women could not rule outright any longer, but they still controlled who did. Or their parents did, more to the point.

Take the Iliad for example. Helen of Troy. She may have been beautiful, plain even. But no ruler would put his (or her) forces out just to get back a mate – not when war allowed them to philander as much as they wanted and it was acceptable. For one, Troy was a nice prize and wealthy for tribute to boot. But why build a story around a woman, other than its good to tell around a camp fire of men at war. Why would another prince go after this woman? Maybe they were closer in age, maybe Paris and Helen were both undeniably attractive and attracted to each other. But there was a code of morals and ethics that existed back then, especially among the rulers as they conscripted everyday people to fight in the armies. Rulers went out on to the battle field in those days! They couldn’t screw up or the soldiers would take them down! Helen must have had something else going for her, from her family, state, or bloodline.

Anyway, I digress. The other Medusa story was that she was a beautiful young woman, or at least attractive enough for the god Posiedon to lust for. In order to work in the Virgin Goddess Athena’s temple you had to be a virgin. Long story short she was raped by Posiedon (insert powerful mortal male figure for reality). Medusa asked for forgiveness as it was clearly rape-the myth even states she fought, who would fight a hot god from what was probably the most amazing 15 minutes anyone on earth could dream of??? She was denied and punished.

Evidence of the Vestal Virgins of Rome being buried alive is proof that this truly happened. Accounts include both willful indulgence and proven rape. Unfortunately, at that time girls and woman had no power, rights, or freedoms. So, as was the case with Medusa, she was used, abuse, and ruined. No one wanted to marry a rape victim because of the stigma attached, so unless it could be hidden and her married out of state, the woman would grow old, mostly starving on the fringes of society. Probably living in one of the many caves around the sea. Haggard and warn, her hair might be dreaded, long and matted, looking much much like the snakes that made it into the myth. After all women within society kept their hair up and braided or knotted because of the insufferable heat and sea spray.
So the writers of this remake give her rape story to explain her torture and hate for men, and why Io (a demigoddess herself-though never explained) is immune to Medusa’s punishing wiles. Her snake body is a vestige of the archaic sea monster fears that plagued the Greeks. Personally, I liked Uma from Percy Jackson….

Back to the story. The beginning of the story fits my vague memory from Latin class and 5th grade World History. Perseus, a demigod, loses his kindly adopted parents. Ends up being angry with the gods or at least bringing order back from chaos and maybe saving for a great lay.

My favorite part, the Dragon tooth-sewn army was left out! My favorite part! I was upset. They gave a brief not by having a dragon skin-covered shield. Ok, fine. I got it. Then there was a long sequence of giant scorpions, which was in the original. However, I admit, I do not remember a jinn having such a large part in all of this! I have to go back to the original, as clearly I do not have it as memorized and I thought I did!

The special effects are amazing. And I was tickled pink that Perseus’s hair was so short. Yeah, it could be left over from the actors spot as a Marine in Avatar. I may have been the only one in that theater, or most all over the world, who knew that young men kept the hair cropped short. Longer hair was a rite of passage, hence the older soldiers and the long hair. GO ME! Today I will gladly pay my astronomical student loan because clearly I learned something that will make some of that payment worthwhile. Well, it at least won’t be as painful.

I say watch it. They have a few nods in there to the original movie. Bilbo is left behind, but he is in there! And Pegasus was black. Very stallion like, I said slightly discussed after which L and I preceded to debate the actual color of “wild” stallions. Thank you AP Bio and the Genetics and Gene Splicing unit.

I plan to buy Clash of the Titans (2010) and watch on my amazing, huge, flat screen tv and blu ray player. Thank you, my husband, for wanting it! It was worth every penny and this movie proves it.