Spouse to Spouse: Never Alone In The Military

Spouse to Spouse: Never Alone In The Military

Christina M. Callisto

Freelance Writer
Published in Military Voice & Community News March/April edition 2010 and the Town Crier

After three years of dating, as a brand new military spouse at age 26, with jobs at Eglin and Hurlburt, I thought I was prepared for my husband’s first deployment. Boy, was I wrong! Seven months, no big deal…until the loneliness set in. When you aren’t used to it and are forced into it, silence is not golden, it’s deafening.

A friend introduced me to the Emerald Coast Writers group, a non-profit consortium of writers of all skill levels, abilities, and genres in this area. Members are retired, young moms, middle-aged dads, homemakers, snowbirds, and military, both active duty and retired. Some are high school grads, others have a bachelor’s degree, a master’s, and at least one has a PhD yet they are all equal in their common interest: writing.

Through ECW I was put in touch with author Vicki Hinze, spouse to a former Special Ops officer. I was so excited to contact someone who knew what I was going through and survived it! I had seen her books in the library but never knew she shopped at the same stores that I do. We chatted on the phone and through email; she was so welcoming.

I learned that her successful writing career, over 20 novels published with a contract for three more, started when her husband PCSed to follow AFSOC from Scott AFB to Hurlburt. Like many spouses, she stayed behind to sell the house, let the kids finish the school year, and she continued working her full-time job (a blessing many of us struggle towards). With the stress of juggling kids’ activities, work demands, and preparing the house for open-house showings all by herself, writing became her me-time outlet. By working late nights and getting up in the wee hours before dawn, Hinze finished her first book in four months–one month shy of the family moving to the new base.

Although seemingly “unqualified” to be an author, she was undeterred. Writing helped her through the loneliness and anxiety of another military PCS and move. These military life trials had colored her experience and allowed her to reach out to other spouses and service members through her books. I still was not convinced she was the woman next door who would say hello while watering her plants. That is, until I heard the following story.

Hinze’s military-themed writing began in 1994 during a trip to the commissary. While grabbing items off the shelf to fill her cabinets she overheard a young couple debating between buying a jar of peanut butter and a can of tuna; purchasing both was not an option for their budget. Stunned, disgusted at the forced choice on food, and outraged that the heroes both active and on the homefront would need to go without basic necessities let alone the comforts many take for granted, Hinze called her editor and scrapped her current contract for a novel with a military-theme revolving around women. Her publisher agreed and fully supported the change. Her successive books dealt with active-duty service members, custody battles and divorce, romance, biological warfare, TDYs, alcoholism, deployments, risks, and the varied dangers inherent in service. Hinze’s single point in all of this was not to sell books, although that was a plus. It was to help the general public see that these hardships exist and understand that military families face specific stresses and dangers every day. This is what made Vicki Hinze a real person, a neighbor, a mom, a spouse, in my eyes.

She used her strength to bring awareness to a much ignored aspect of life, of my new life. She has used a number of pen names for different book series, but when it came to her twelve (so far) military books, no other name but her own felt acceptable. Hinze was on a personal mission and she wanted to stand behind the things expressed and to be an active advocate in the struggle to raise awareness on the concerns and welfare of military families. My new family.

Since I was very young, I’ve moved around quite a bit. A job search brought me to this area, thanks to the bases’ missions. Hinze’s family moved from Mississippi to California to Illinois and finally to Florida. She hailed from New Orleans, Louisiana while her husband was and is a Texan at heart. She confided to me that the varied cultures and lifestyles both of her own family and that of the wider military family helped to broaden her perspective. All of this helped expand her insight and creativity and aided in building relatable, empathetic characters.

After learning all this in bits and pieces, I couldn’t wait to meet the person. I wanted to pick her brain for every joy and heartbreak she sustained as a military wife with a full family. I am glad she will be attending the ECW Conference in April so I will have three days to chat with and learn from her. My husband and I would like to have a family some day, but he was deployed to Afghanistan one month after we wed. I have so much to learn, but now I know as a military spouse I am never alone. In the wee hours of the morning, I can pick up one of Vicki’s books and know someone is with me in this.
Emerald Coast Writers Inc. www.emeraldcoastwriters.org/
Vicki Hinze www.vickihinze.com/

April 29, 2010 at 7:16 am

Tops in Blue 2011

Tops in Blue

Christina M. Callisto Free Lance Writer
Published in the February/March 2011 issue of the Military Voice & Community News

“Tops In Blue, is an all-active duty US Air Force special unit made up of talented amateur performers selected for their entertainment abilities.”
 It was 1953 when the Worldwide Talent Contest was conducted by the Air Force under the then Major Al Reilly to recognize airmen with entertaining talents ranging from singing to acting to instrumental and production skills. The purpose was to provide entertainment for the families of Air Force personnel stationed across the world and so the term “family entertaining family” was coined.
The best of the best were chosen from this contest and would form what is now known as Tops in Blue. Members of the cast and crew needed to setup, preform, tear down, and travel to the next location with amazing speed and precision ensuring the maximum locations visited and that each location would see a new production.
The caliber of quality and dedication to its mission caught the attention of Ed Sullivan who invited the Tops In Blue to his “Toast of the Town” in 1954. At the time it was estimated that 15 million views watched from their homes. Cross county notoriety did not stop the Tops In Blue from performing around the world. Four years later the group had traveled to bases around the world entertaining almost a million Air Force family members.
World events enabled the Tops in Blue to produce records and films in the late 1950s, 1960s, and early 1970s. These professional films, and even television shows filmed in the late 1960s, continued to bring excitement and joy to the Air Force families. When the group was able to tour again the whirlwind traveling entertained 42,000 military personnel. Special programs were even created and performed for isolated locations and during the long winter seasons.
Clamor for the Tops In Blue had increased to a fervor and by the 1980s it was decided to create two touring groups to reach more bases across the world. The group was invited to special events and even the Bob Hope Birthday Special. Nearly 400,000 people had gathered at the Washington Monument to celebrate July 4^th and partake in a special performance of the Tops in Blue. What may have been the widest reaching production for the United States citizens was when the group was invited to perform at the half-time show during Super Bowl XIX in 1985.
The 1990s saw the mission expand and the two groups were combined into one large traveling show to entertain in numerous former Soviet Union countries as well as for Air Force personal stationed at Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Bosnia-Herzegovina and Croatia, among others. After the turn of the century Tops in Blue were the first good-will force to perform in Kyrgystan, Afghanistan, Qatar, and Pakistan.
Their mission for the last 55 years has been to serve as an “expeditionary entertainment unit to provide quality entertainment from within Air Force resources for the Air Force family, with priority to Air Force personnel stationed worldwide at remote and deployed locations while simultaneously promoting community relations, supporting recruiting efforts and serving as ambassadors for the United States of America and the United States Air Force.”
Catch the Tops in Blue presenting “We Believe” at Hurlburt Field at the **************, on Friday March 11,2011. The show starts at 7 pm and is open to all DoD ID cardholders and guests. Admission is free, but no alcohol, coolers, or pets permitted. For more info call 884-7594 or visit MyHurlburt.com.

Emerald Coast Writers Inc.

Emerald Coast Writers Group

By Christina M. Callisto Free Lance Writer

Published in the February/March 2011 issue of the Military Voice & Community News

CALLING ALL MILITARY, active duty and guard of all branches, spouses, dependents, retired, and GS and NAF employees:

If you have ever wanted to share your experiences, write a memoir, fantasy novel, or short stories, the EMERALD COAST WRITERS group is for you!

ECW is a non-profit organization dedicated to nurturing, educating, and promoting established and aspiring writers of all ages and experience levels. In addition to regular meetings, ECW sponsors workshops, critique and study groups, and open-mike discussions. Members are active in community outreach, speaking at local schools, offering mentor programs for young writers, and Q&A sessions with professionals in the publishing industry. The annual ECW conference features best selling authors offering workshops to help you hone your craft as well as prominent agents and editors ready to hear your pitch.

ECW members connect through a Yahoo group, Facebook, and an email list, sharing life and writing experiences, current and past works, and industry news. Members are welcome to join critique groups meeting bimonthly, one in Shalimar and the other in Niceville, Florida. Current members have included active duty and retired, military spouses, teachers, professors, stay at home parents, snow-birds, returning tourists, and those juggling full time and part time jobs. To name a few, award-winning author Vicki Hinze was a military spouse when she began writing thrillers with strong female protagonists. Charles Davis, author of Growing Up in Pensacola, is himself former military. The military is well represented in ECW keynote speakers, among them Stephen Coonts, author of Flight of the Intruder, Jeremiah Healy, creator of the John Francis Cuddy PI series, and Joe Weber who The Press in Atlantic City, NJ, touts as writing with a “pace faster than a heat-seeking missile.”

ECW meets monthly at the Shalimar Town Hall. Anyone interested in writing from novice to number one on the NY Times list is welcome. Find us on Facebook and check out our website www.EmeraldCoastWriters.org for information on future meetings and breaking news about the 8th Annual ECW Writers’ Conference to be held to be held on the 8th and 9th of April at the Ramada Plaza Beach Resort on Okaloosa Island.

Eglin Vet For Our Pets

Eglin Vet for our pets

Not credited but printed with my permission
Published in the February/March 2011 issue of the Military Voice & Community News
Our pets are our families. While some would rather favor one over the other, they have nevertheless helped us relax and exercise through countless moves, holidays, and deployments. But where to get the best care of them?
Look no further than the Eglin veterinarian at the 96 Force Support Squadron Army Veterinarian Treatment Facility. While its primary mission is to take care of the Eglin and Hurlburt working dogs, the clinic is also open to our best friends. They do not offer bathing or nail clipping, but care for pets of active duty and retired military personnel include rabies vaccinations, outpatient treatment, heartworm checks, and general immunization.
If you are worried about moving or have a roving cat or dog, the Eglin pet Vet offers an affordable HomeAgain microchip implantation system and American Kennel Club Companion Animal Recovery (AKC CAR) database enrollment.
Interested? Pets are seen by appointment only at Building 888. Eglin Vet hours are 7:15 am to 3:00 pm Monday through Friday, closed federal holidays, and can be reached at 882-8250 or 882-2233. This is not an emergency facility but you can find the number for the Emergency Veterinary Clinic, which is 850-729-3335. For more information on the AKC CAR program, visit http://www.akccar.org/about/profile.cfm.

Taking Advantage of Military Discounts

Taking Advantage of Military Discounts

By Christina Callisto
Published in the February/March 2011 issue of the Military Voice & Community News
With January over and the New Year’s resolutions to control spending made, the winter months still have vacations dancing in our thoughts. Here are a few discounts to help your budget and simplify vacation ideas.
Brides Across America provides free wedding gowns to qualified military brides.
Lowe’s & Home Depot offer an extra 10% off to active-duty military members, National Guard and reserve members, retirees, honorably discharged veterans and immediate family members.
Restaurants to check out include: Arby’s, Back Yard Burgers, Burger King, Captain D’s, Chick-Fil-A, Denny’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, IHOP, KFC, Pizza Hut, Quizno’s, Sonic, Taco Bell, and Whataburger. Check for specific days or times for discount availability.
Services to look into include Geico , Jiffy Lube, Meineke , and Sears Portrait Studio.
Looking to stay in or want a day trip? Try Blockbuster, local movie theaters, Ripley’s attractions and museums, and professional and semi-pro sports teams. Some events at the Pensacola Civic Center provide volunteer opportunities to military members and offer free events in return.
Need a deal on a gift? Try Apple Computers, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Bath and Body Works, Big 10 Tires, Champs Sports, Dell, The Discovery Channel Store, Dress Barn, The Finish Line, Foot Action, Footlocker, Gadzooks, GNC, Goody’s, Hot Topic, Jockey, Lerner, Michael’s, NAPA Auto Parts, New York & Company, Pac Sun, Payless Shoes, Play It Again Sports, Pure Beauty, Sally Beauty Supply, Spencer’s Gifts, Suncoast, Timberland Outlets, and Wilson’s Leather.
All Federal employees are able to get a 15% discount on their personal cell phones by calling their carrier and mentioning the “Federal Telecommunications Act of 1996 – Discount to Federal Employees Past and Present.” You will need to know the military member’s supervisor’s name, phone number, and full address, so that his/her military status can be verified. Use the following contact numbers: Cingular – 800-319-6393, Sprint – 877-812-1223, T-Mobile – 866-646-4688, Nextel – 800-639-6111, and Verizon – 800-865-1825.
Be sure to ask for a military discount wherever you go here locally and around the country. While not all restaurants, service centers, or products are included, it never hurts to ask and a little leg work can save a few bucks all year round.

From Seoul to Saigon

From Seoul to Saigon

By Christina M. Callisto Free Lance Writer
Published in the October/November 2010 issue of the Military Voice & Community News
Sandra Davis is a quiet local celebrity. Perhaps you saw where Pensacola Junior College (PJC) recognized and honored her during National Women’s Month in 2003 for her unconventional careers. She may be better known around these parts for her time as Dr. Sandra Lockney-Davis, retired District Department Head of the Learning Resources Centers at PJC. While there, she authored an article in the journal Community College Libraries entitled, “Surviving Hurricane Ivan at Pensacola Junior College, Pensacola, Florida.” Not surprising, she and her husband, Charlie Davis, a local author, joined the Emerald Coast Writers, a non-profit organization for established and aspiring writers.
Sandra was named an honoree for the 2003 National Women’s Month program called “Guts, Glory, and Lipstick” at PJC. As an honoree she was expected to speak to the students and faculty. In humor typical for Sandra, she focused on the lighter side of what it was like for a female to live in Korea 11 years after the war and in Vietnam while the war was raging.
The presentation was based on the time she served as a civilian in the Army Special Services, the replacement for the Army Morale Division and the precursor to the current Army MWR program. Sandra was just one of approximately 12,000 civilian and military females who served in Vietnam. More specifically, she was one of only 600 Special Services personnel who served in Vietnam from 1966-1972. These women coordinated programs for troop morale and entertainment in the service clubs, libraries, and craft shops, harmonizing USO shows, Army Soldier Shows, and the Army Exchange which evolved into AAFES, the Army and Air Force Exchange Service. Well more than fifty civilian women were lost, never to return to the homefront. Unfortunately, accurate numbers remain scarce. They were the ensurers and continuants of esprit de corps for our troops. These women were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for soldiers who were doing the same.
After a year-long tour in Korea, Sandra was offered a position for a single year tour in Vietnam. The war was on when she stepped onto Vietnamese soil and she remembers living there through the Tet Offensive. Her outpouring of patriotism was inspired by her father, Lt Colonel William J. Lockney, a U.S. Air Force fighter pilot who saw action in World War II, Korea, and eventually Vietnam.
These women of Special Services were honored at the dedication of the Vietnam Women’s Memorial in Washington, D.C. in 1993. It is located at the site of the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial. Those able to attend listened as Admiral William Crowe, a former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, spoke at the historic event. Sandra L. Davis was one of the Special Services women who received a personalized Certificate of Appreciation signed by Les Aspin, U.S. Secretary of Defense. A special publication was produced for the surviving honorees: Vietnam Women’s Memorial: A Commemorative. You can find more of her life and volunteer service in her memoir, due out soon, as well as in selected chapters of her husband’s book, Growing Up in Pensacola, by Charlie Davis.
Sandra will present her story again at the Gulf Breeze Historical Society. This time her program and PowerPoint presentation are entitled: “So, What’s A Nice Girl Like You Doing In A Place Like this? From Seoul to Saigon.” This happens to be the title of her memoir which is now in the editing stage. The presentation will be on Tuesday Oct 19, 2010 at 7:00pm at the Gulf Breeze City Hall. All are heartily welcome to attend.

Spouse to Spouse: Key Spouse Program

Key Spouse Program

Spouse to Spouse: Key Spouse Program

By Christina M. Callisto Free Lance Writer

Published in the October/November 2010 issue of the Military Voice & Community News

“Welcome to the Air Force family! Someone will contact you shortly.”
This is what the Key Spouse is for. A welcome to a new life style, a new location, a new mission.
“Someone will contact you while your spouse is deployed.”
The Key Spouse Program is the Commander’s program to specifically address concerns and needs of the dependents of Airmen throughout the Air Force. It’s the official communication network for spouses: official selection of volunteers, official oversight, and feedback right to the Commander. Military personnel have a First Sergeant to go to. Key Spouses are there to help you to get to what you need, help you to understand, and help you and your family through each phase of deployment and PCSing. They want to make sure you know all there is and have smooth transitions through military life.
Deployment is where Key Spouses shine. Some people have only work, others have kids, many juggle both. Each situation has its own needs. Perhaps you are also in the military. Who can you talk to? Who will listen to your troubles or help break up the loneliness when a spouse is remote? Are others experiencing what you or your kids are going through? Where can you share great news and funny pictures? Have a “grievance?” Keys work with you and the chain of command or necessary base agency. They will be your eyes, ears, and speak up for you.
When your Airman is deployed, the Key is there so you have someone for each of these questions and more. You may only need them once or twice during a military career or each and every deployment. The Key Spouse(s) will call periodically until homecoming to see how you are and if you need anything. Be honest. Let them know your stresses and joys, share how your children are handling the separation. Set up a schedule for contact (each week or every other) and the method (phone call, email, website, etc.). It truly helps the days and weeks pass by so much faster when you have a “hello” to look forward to every once in a while.
You do not need to deal with the anxiety or fear that may crop up by yourself. Face to face, email, phone, text, and social websites are just a few ways you can choose to be contacted and to make contact.
Depending on the size and need of the squadron or group, the number of Keys varies. Key Spouses can be husbands or wives, civilian, active duty or retired, enlisted or officer. They care for us so our spouses focus on the mission with the knowledge that the family is safe and looked after at all times. The Airman and Family Readiness Center (A&FRC) can put you in touch with your Key Spouse(s).
“As a dependent, who can I ask?” As an official unit representative Key Spouses are conduits of information. Passing along base and squadron updates, programs, resources, and contact numbers, fact support is the obvious part of the job. But the emotional and social support is greatly needed and often goes untold and unknown. This is what we as spouses need the most: the open door policy with peace of mind. Keys are available but they are not taxis, babysitters, or councelors.
As with life in general, what you put in to it is what you get out of it. Take advantage of everything that is offered to you and your family by the base, the squadron, and the Airman and Family Readiness Center. And keep going back. Let them know what you think, what you liked, what isn’t working, what you need and what you want to see more of. Remember, this is all for you and your family.