Every Light in the House is On

(uncredited picture published on article page of SpouseBUZZ)


Every Light In The House Is On


My publishing credit: credited as “Guest Blogger” “Christina” (see bio below) (I am going to frame my acceptance email!)

Published by SpouseBUZZ of Military. com on November 30, 2012, in Deployment, Military Life by Guest Bloggers.

Everyone has weird quirks, some are weirder than others. One of my biggest quirks, which hurts in the pocketbook, is leaving our holiday lights on all night long. I’m talking 5 p.m to 5 a.m.; our house can probably be seen from space when it’s decked out for the holidays.

My husband sees those lights and he sees dollar signs.  He thinks winter is a time when we can recoup from the languid, unbearable Florida summers of non-stop air conditioning.

I see those lights and see comfort during long deployment months — something that is vital at a time when, traditionally, families are coming together, not being split asunder. While our military operations abroad might be drawing to a close, I will continue to fight this battle at home.

I fight the good fight with Christmas lights. Because I was alone during our first Christmas as a married couple. It was hard to come home and destress about work or traffic to no one. As many spouses know, talking out loud can sometimes make the room seem so much more … empty.

Due to the nature of the mission I could talk to my husband only about once a month.  I was holding my breath in dread, weeks on end with every news report that came out. I never knew how my husband would be described if his time was up. Would it be just a number of casualties, would they mention his country of origin, his branch of service, his rank, his age, his name?

I was most assuredly jealous of my fellow spouses who complained that they couldn’t deal with the multiple calls a day from over there:  doesn’t he/she understand?

Oh, I understood the need to make those calls; I would be the one calling every other hour if I was over there. So much for being the strong, independent one.

To fill the void in the hours after my solitary dinner and before report-time for work the next day, I went out the door of what had become my narrow life and into the greater world to search for the light. Holiday lights.

Sometimes I bundled up and walked around the neighborhoods. Other times I drove around to the more affluent areas and basked in glory and appreciation for the lengths these people went to: single color, multicolored, flashing, strobe, ropes, net lights, minimalist, circus-worthy, wreaths, vehicles, characters, deer, polar bears, menorahs of all sizes, colors, and quantities, lighted fake palm trees, manger scenes of various sizes, cultures, and ethnicities, toy soldiers and purple hippopotami.

I was especially thankful, and made the point to silently thank, each and every time, those who left their lights on all night. Some were surely forgotten, others, it seemed, left them on just for me. Perhaps they actually did.

So last year I was dead-set on leaving my lights on all night long. One night, my husband and I had another round about why the lights needed to be on even after we had gone to bed and why we couldn’t take them down until the end of January. I stepped outside to enjoy my lights. I saw the two candles I had placed in the windows–part of that age old sign of welcome–were not lit.

I wondered if I could replace them without my husband noticing. Because I will leave the lights on for that one person who may be searching for solace and healing the wound of the missing other.

Christina is a proud war bride, military “dependent,” writer,and volunteer. She met her husband while working two jobs and he stuck with the despite the long and crazy hours away from each other. And so began her experience with the military. Scrapping the wedding for a long and dangerous deployment, she fully embraced being a military spouse. Christina reaches out to all available networks to learn and take advantage of what the military has to offer its family.

Read more: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/11/every-light-in-the-house-is-on.html#ixzz2FAZTUC4q
SpouseBUZZ.com

Novel Review: Thornspell

Thornspell By Helen Lowe- Loved it. It’s a twist on the Sleeping Beauty/Aurora story but from the boy’s point of view. He happened to be born at a time to make him come of age first as the spell grows to full term. It’s as simple as that. He is sent away to a remote “castle” after his mother mysteriously dies. There is a curse on the father’s side, numerous generations have been weeded out. The fairies we know of who cast the wicked spell and try to change it from death to sleep are far more dangerous, conniving, loyal and dedicated. Not to mention, apparently these fairy folk, which are not from this realm, are in the bloodline of two of the strongest families who rule two of the strongest kingdoms, which make them the perfect victims. And the ultimate reason the spell involves Aurora and Sigismund.

I couldn’t help thinking back to the Disney version of this story and seeing in this novel the explanations and twists and turns the led to what we see in Disney’s movie. But this book and its strong characters are so much more. There are no weak characters, no needy characters. All have faults and weaknesses, but strength is drawn or shared from allies. Even Aurora is strong enough of mind to break out within her enchanted sleep to help (Prince) Sigismund on his enlightening journey through truth, reality, magic, and power. The difference is she must do it without speaking, without being seen, or the gig is up and the evil one will know that she is more alive than dead. The puzzle to save her is so involved and yet any one of us could solve it if it took place in our own lives. Special abilities, tools, and powerful friends help, but it is the intellect, the ability to remember a story, a quote, and the importance in the drive to say “thank you” and “I’m sorry,” even far after the fact of the matter, that bring the enlightenment needed in trying times.

Excellent book. Excellent for boys, especially, and girls alike. This is not a novel where adults refuse to listen to “kids,” where experiences cannot be shared and discussed. The turmoil is not built on misinformation or lack of communication but in the how the politics of the land play out, in attempts at various methods to solve a jigsaw and understanding how the pieces fit. There are no victims in this book, except for the initial spell. I was very much impressed with the weaving of the tale and how seamlessly the plot points fit together across generations and around the world. I kept thinking, “ah, that make’s sense” just as the character did. I would read this again, it was that good. And, I did not foresee every twist and turn!

Spouse to Spouse: Never Alone In The Military

Spouse to Spouse: Never Alone In The Military

Christina M. Callisto

Freelance Writer
Published in Military Voice & Community News March/April edition 2010 and the Town Crier

After three years of dating, as a brand new military spouse at age 26, with jobs at Eglin and Hurlburt, I thought I was prepared for my husband’s first deployment. Boy, was I wrong! Seven months, no big deal…until the loneliness set in. When you aren’t used to it and are forced into it, silence is not golden, it’s deafening.

A friend introduced me to the Emerald Coast Writers group, a non-profit consortium of writers of all skill levels, abilities, and genres in this area. Members are retired, young moms, middle-aged dads, homemakers, snowbirds, and military, both active duty and retired. Some are high school grads, others have a bachelor’s degree, a master’s, and at least one has a PhD yet they are all equal in their common interest: writing.

Through ECW I was put in touch with author Vicki Hinze, spouse to a former Special Ops officer. I was so excited to contact someone who knew what I was going through and survived it! I had seen her books in the library but never knew she shopped at the same stores that I do. We chatted on the phone and through email; she was so welcoming.

I learned that her successful writing career, over 20 novels published with a contract for three more, started when her husband PCSed to follow AFSOC from Scott AFB to Hurlburt. Like many spouses, she stayed behind to sell the house, let the kids finish the school year, and she continued working her full-time job (a blessing many of us struggle towards). With the stress of juggling kids’ activities, work demands, and preparing the house for open-house showings all by herself, writing became her me-time outlet. By working late nights and getting up in the wee hours before dawn, Hinze finished her first book in four months–one month shy of the family moving to the new base.

Although seemingly “unqualified” to be an author, she was undeterred. Writing helped her through the loneliness and anxiety of another military PCS and move. These military life trials had colored her experience and allowed her to reach out to other spouses and service members through her books. I still was not convinced she was the woman next door who would say hello while watering her plants. That is, until I heard the following story.

Hinze’s military-themed writing began in 1994 during a trip to the commissary. While grabbing items off the shelf to fill her cabinets she overheard a young couple debating between buying a jar of peanut butter and a can of tuna; purchasing both was not an option for their budget. Stunned, disgusted at the forced choice on food, and outraged that the heroes both active and on the homefront would need to go without basic necessities let alone the comforts many take for granted, Hinze called her editor and scrapped her current contract for a novel with a military-theme revolving around women. Her publisher agreed and fully supported the change. Her successive books dealt with active-duty service members, custody battles and divorce, romance, biological warfare, TDYs, alcoholism, deployments, risks, and the varied dangers inherent in service. Hinze’s single point in all of this was not to sell books, although that was a plus. It was to help the general public see that these hardships exist and understand that military families face specific stresses and dangers every day. This is what made Vicki Hinze a real person, a neighbor, a mom, a spouse, in my eyes.

She used her strength to bring awareness to a much ignored aspect of life, of my new life. She has used a number of pen names for different book series, but when it came to her twelve (so far) military books, no other name but her own felt acceptable. Hinze was on a personal mission and she wanted to stand behind the things expressed and to be an active advocate in the struggle to raise awareness on the concerns and welfare of military families. My new family.

Since I was very young, I’ve moved around quite a bit. A job search brought me to this area, thanks to the bases’ missions. Hinze’s family moved from Mississippi to California to Illinois and finally to Florida. She hailed from New Orleans, Louisiana while her husband was and is a Texan at heart. She confided to me that the varied cultures and lifestyles both of her own family and that of the wider military family helped to broaden her perspective. All of this helped expand her insight and creativity and aided in building relatable, empathetic characters.

After learning all this in bits and pieces, I couldn’t wait to meet the person. I wanted to pick her brain for every joy and heartbreak she sustained as a military wife with a full family. I am glad she will be attending the ECW Conference in April so I will have three days to chat with and learn from her. My husband and I would like to have a family some day, but he was deployed to Afghanistan one month after we wed. I have so much to learn, but now I know as a military spouse I am never alone. In the wee hours of the morning, I can pick up one of Vicki’s books and know someone is with me in this.
Emerald Coast Writers Inc. www.emeraldcoastwriters.org/
Vicki Hinze www.vickihinze.com/

April 29, 2010 at 7:16 am

A *living* victim of road rage!

Well I was threatened today: I better be glad she didn’t have her heat on her or I would be dead right now.

Apparently this woman did not like that I pulled out onto my street about 6 houses and 1 street width, not including the one I was turning off of, away from her and prohibited her from continuing her crazy breakneck speed. The entire road is posted for 25mph about every 4 houses. I have lived here for three years, I know where each ones is. We have an elementary school and a church on my road two houses down from my place where the speed limit slows to 20 mph.

I made sure she was far enough away when I pulled out, put my blinker onto turn right and immediately pulled into the paved area to turn into my place. I heard her horn from house 6. And her breaks locking at house 2 and the rubber on the road at house 1 when I was already in my right merge. I knew if there was an impact it would be on my left side, a scraping crush. How did she get from house 6 to 1 – she clearly saw me if her horn was blaring (unless she was paying attention to something else?) – having to slam on the breaks if she was going 25 miles an hour? Even at 35 there was plenty of time! I went one car lengths distance. It’s a slight Z where the road doesn’t go straight into my parking lot- but almost!

No impact.

Instead of being a good mom, she tails me until I park, pulls up and starts screaming at me and slamming her hand against the seat saying something about she has a kid in the car. I can see its head moving around, I believe it is a boy about 4 years old, probably younger. All I said, calmly, was “25 miles per hour. “ “F- that! F-ing 25 miles an hour! … kid…. f-….” When there was a lull I calmly repeated “25 miles per hour.” Not surprising, she was enraged all the more each time I said that. The passenger seat was being hit so hard it was bouncing back into her arm, something I have only seen in vehicle crash tests.

I then see her reaching around for something, white papers flapping into the air. I am about to reach for my cell phone to call 911 when she says ” You better be glad I don’t have my heat on me or you’d be dead!” and flies out of the parking lot. I mean bat out of hell speed!

My next thought was If I was shot in my car, my milk, the only reason I went out, would spoil before someone would have found me. My husband is deployed, the neighbors were out on this beautiful early afternoon Sunday. In retrospect I am surprised I remained so calm. I got the groceries out of the car, which took two trips, and locked the front door when it was all in. I had to call someone so I phoned L and explained it to her. Then I freaked out! It all came out. She says, ” It’s time to move! Get out of that area! You were so right, they do need speed bumps! But we all have road rage stories like that. I don’t know if I told you when…”

After I talked about it I was fine again. I left the house for my Apheresis platelet donation at the NWFL Bloodcenter where I was told my blood pressure was great. I had, of course, told them the story. They could apparently see on my face something was amiss.

Now I am home, all alone, and worried. Have you ever been threatened like that before? I could have jumped from my car to my window. That is how close I was to my place. She saw where I can be assumed to live. I would have kept going, but what if she was actually going into the next lot and I would have been exacerbating the situation by continuing on?

Interestingly enough, she never called me any names. None! I can think of a string of words that could have been used. But none were. This leads me to believe that she wasn’t actually angry at me, myself, perhaps, but at her situation which would have been causing her to feel the need to drive at such excessive speeds in a residential area. Perhaps she was a worried mom scared that her terrible actions could have caused her the life of her child at such an impact. I can only hope. I am truly far more worried that child is living with an addict. Exactly what would cause someone to be that aggressive. Aggressive speeding and driving. Slamming the seat so hard it actually was bouncing back. I would never have screamed like that or been so violent with a child in the car or anywhere near the area.

I am only assuming she was the parent. “Kid” was the word repeated, not son or daughter or even child.

However, I am alive. I am safe. And I am going to forget the nice townhouse I just saw for rent a block away from here. As my husband, God love him, said, “We need to get away from the Walmart. It is just too close. We have seen this neighborhood decline and its just time to go.” I really hate to admit that it is true. This was such a nice area. I also really do not want to associate this kind of behavior with a company or location. I have shopped there, many decent people do. But the community built closest to it is gated.

Boy, it’s times like this I wish he was home. Like this? I have never been threatened before! I hope this never happens to you. Or to me ever again. I need some cookies and milk!

June 7, 2010 at 10:46 am

From Seoul to Saigon

From Seoul to Saigon

By Christina M. Callisto Free Lance Writer
Published in the October/November 2010 issue of the Military Voice & Community News
Sandra Davis is a quiet local celebrity. Perhaps you saw where Pensacola Junior College (PJC) recognized and honored her during National Women’s Month in 2003 for her unconventional careers. She may be better known around these parts for her time as Dr. Sandra Lockney-Davis, retired District Department Head of the Learning Resources Centers at PJC. While there, she authored an article in the journal Community College Libraries entitled, “Surviving Hurricane Ivan at Pensacola Junior College, Pensacola, Florida.” Not surprising, she and her husband, Charlie Davis, a local author, joined the Emerald Coast Writers, a non-profit organization for established and aspiring writers.
Sandra was named an honoree for the 2003 National Women’s Month program called “Guts, Glory, and Lipstick” at PJC. As an honoree she was expected to speak to the students and faculty. In humor typical for Sandra, she focused on the lighter side of what it was like for a female to live in Korea 11 years after the war and in Vietnam while the war was raging.
The presentation was based on the time she served as a civilian in the Army Special Services, the replacement for the Army Morale Division and the precursor to the current Army MWR program. Sandra was just one of approximately 12,000 civilian and military females who served in Vietnam. More specifically, she was one of only 600 Special Services personnel who served in Vietnam from 1966-1972. These women coordinated programs for troop morale and entertainment in the service clubs, libraries, and craft shops, harmonizing USO shows, Army Soldier Shows, and the Army Exchange which evolved into AAFES, the Army and Air Force Exchange Service. Well more than fifty civilian women were lost, never to return to the homefront. Unfortunately, accurate numbers remain scarce. They were the ensurers and continuants of esprit de corps for our troops. These women were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for soldiers who were doing the same.
After a year-long tour in Korea, Sandra was offered a position for a single year tour in Vietnam. The war was on when she stepped onto Vietnamese soil and she remembers living there through the Tet Offensive. Her outpouring of patriotism was inspired by her father, Lt Colonel William J. Lockney, a U.S. Air Force fighter pilot who saw action in World War II, Korea, and eventually Vietnam.
These women of Special Services were honored at the dedication of the Vietnam Women’s Memorial in Washington, D.C. in 1993. It is located at the site of the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial. Those able to attend listened as Admiral William Crowe, a former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, spoke at the historic event. Sandra L. Davis was one of the Special Services women who received a personalized Certificate of Appreciation signed by Les Aspin, U.S. Secretary of Defense. A special publication was produced for the surviving honorees: Vietnam Women’s Memorial: A Commemorative. You can find more of her life and volunteer service in her memoir, due out soon, as well as in selected chapters of her husband’s book, Growing Up in Pensacola, by Charlie Davis.
Sandra will present her story again at the Gulf Breeze Historical Society. This time her program and PowerPoint presentation are entitled: “So, What’s A Nice Girl Like You Doing In A Place Like this? From Seoul to Saigon.” This happens to be the title of her memoir which is now in the editing stage. The presentation will be on Tuesday Oct 19, 2010 at 7:00pm at the Gulf Breeze City Hall. All are heartily welcome to attend.